Three Simple Steps to Being Assertive

Assertiveness is not passive or aggressive. It's not about being loved, it's about being respected. It's about being firm not caustic. It's about asking and sharing, not demanding and hoarding. It's about speaking your truth and allowing others to do the same. 

Finding it difficult to be assertive? These simple steps can help.

Three simple steps to being the assertive you

1. Mean what you say and say what your mean

Deal with the discomfort of speaking your truth. It may be difficult if you’re not accustomed to saying how you really feel. You’ve been afraid of hurting other people’s feelings or not being accepted when your expressed your own point of view. You wanted to belong. You wanted to be love. 

But reflect for a moment how this made you feel – unhappy, depressed, bitter, frustrated, weak, insignificant – your initial discomfort from speaking your truth, over time, will become a powerful feeling of empowerment, freedom and joy. 

2. Be guilt free

Feeling guilty is not a real emotion, it’s a conditioned response. Guilt causes inner turmoil. You judge yourself harshly and it makes you feel unworthy. Assertiveness frees you to be who you are, to express yourself authentically and shamelessly ask for what you want. Don’t allow guilt to wreak havoc on your new found assertive self. You aren’t responsible for people’s reaction to the new you. Allow them to be who they are.

3. Set and maintain personal boundaries

Pouting, grumbling, expressing your displeasure behind someone’s back, slamming doors, having tantrums, passive aggressive behavior, or belittling others, is not being assertive. You give up your power when you exhibit these behaviors. 

Let others know your wants and needs – people are not mind readers – be clear on your boundaries. Deal with unwanted situations right away. Don’t ignore them, they’ll become volatile and explode. To be taken seriously and have credibility, it’s important to stand firm in your convictions, keep your word and follow through.

Summary

When you ask for what you want politely, when you express your displeasure with care and consideration for the other parties involved, when you default to kindness even in times of anger, you’re more likely to get what you want. Most will respect you for being assertive (you can’t please everyone). Most will despise you if you’re aggressive and look down on you if you allow yourself to be a door mat.

Hypnosis works - if you’re having a difficult time being assertive hypnotherapy can help.

 

Contact me for a free consultation
Adalia John Cht
818-741-8909
Skype:adaliaj1
adalia[at]claimyourconfidencenow[dot]com

 

Adalia John - Certified Hypnotherapist, mindset mastery mentor and confidence solutions coach. I help my clients to use the power of their minds to achieve their personal and professional goals.

Learn more about hypnosis at http://www.hypnosistarzana.com

Image courtesy of  FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hypnosis Tarzana: How To Overcome the Fear Of Abandonment

Hypnosis Tarzana: How To Overcome the Fear Of Abandonment: Hypnosis works for the fear of abandonment. Fear of abandonment issues develop at an early age. One day you look around and an ...

How To Overcome the Fear Of Abandonment

Hypnosis works for the fear of abandonment.

Fear of abandonment issues develop at an early age. One day you look around and an important person (a parent, caretaker, relative) in your life is gone, either because he/she intentionally took off, or died. Logic tells us that a person doesn’t die (unless they commit suicide) just to abandon you, but the fear of being abandoned, like all irrational fears, is not based on logic.

Not everyone who has been abandoned develops a fear of abandonment. And others develop this fear even though they were never abandoned. They experience abandonment through the imagination. The subconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between what’s real or imagined, therefore, their feelings and emotional responses are as real as the person who had a first-hand experience with abandonment.

The effects of the fear of abandonment

Those who are afraid of being abandoned have a fear of trusting others or showing their vulnerability. Their words and actions are suspicious and guarded. Eventually, what they fear the most is brought about by their own action; they’re abandoned because no one wants to put up with their negative attitude.

At the core of the fear of being abandoned is emotional insecurity. Emotional insecurity is developed at an early age when your needs as a child were not met. Your subconscious mind is imprinted with feelings of unworthiness, as an adult these feelings govern your decisions and choices, personally and professionally, and they reinforce your unworthiness.

How to overcome the fear of being abandoned

If you live in the moment, in the now so to speak, fear of being abandoned will become less of an issue. This may be difficult but if you take it a day at a time you will see results.

Don’t judge the people in the present by the actions of others from your past. Learn to accept people for who they are TODAY, not what you think they’ll become or do in the future.
 
Look your fear in the eyes, what’s hiding in the back of being abandoned? What are you really afraid of? Answer that question and deal with that specific issue. If you’re afraid a loved one is going to let you down or leave the relationship, show your vulnerability and share it with that person. You’ll discover, more often than not, this person has your best interest at heart, and would not intentionally hurt you.
 
There are no guarantees in life; you cannot control the action of others, therefore, you must equip yourself with tools that will keep you emotionally secure in spite of life’s challenges, including being abandoned.

Hypnotherapy gets to the root of your fear of being abandoned, and all fears for that matter, in the subconscious mind. You'll accept consciously and subconsciously that you're worthy. Your feelings of hopelessness and helplessness will be gone, and you'll know that no matter what you experience, you have it within you to overcome and thrive.

If you would like more information about hypnosis and hypnotherapy visit http://www.hypnosistarzana.com. 

 Adalia John is a certified hypnotherapist, confidence solutions coach, mindset mastery mentor and consultant for small/medium size businesses.

Contact me for a free consultation
Adalia John Cht
818-741-8909
Skype:adaliaj1
adalia[at]claimyourconfidencenow[dot]com

Image courtesy of  FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Medical Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy In the News

New findings are leading major hospitals to try hypnosis to help relieve pain and speed recovery on a variety of illnesses.
—Wall Street Journal

Study, conducted by researchers at Baylor University's Mind-Body Medicine Research Laboratory, received positive results by using hypnosis as a method of treatment for hot flashes and night sweats. Natural News

Hypnosis: The new anesthetic? Doctors say nearly any surgery usually done with a local anesthetic could work with hypnosis and less pain medicine. Since doctors began offering hypnosis at the hospital in 2003, hundreds of patients have chosen it. At another Belgian hospital, more than 8,000 surgeries have been done this way since 1992. CBS News

Studies have been conducted showing that hypnotherapy can be quite beneficial to the migraine sufferer. In many studies, hypnosis has been shown to be more beneficial than medications.  Natural News

 Lorac founder Carol Shaw, is crediting the practice with clearing up her cystic acne in only three sessions. “Every night and every morning I would do self-hypnosis… I would just say, ‘The pimples are disappearing; I have beautiful clear skin. My skin is clear,” she claims. ” The only thing you have to do is visualize how you want to look.” hypnosistarzana

Research and studies have shown that hypnosis is helpful in reducing the symptoms of Tourette Syndrome. This will enable Tourette Syndrome sufferers to lead a more normal lifestyle with fewer tics and interruptions. Hypnosis also gives them more control. Natural News

On the mornings she undergoes chemotherapy, Jeanne Safer, a New York psychologist, hypnotizes herself en route in the taxi. She starts by closing her eyes, then rolling them up to the top of her head and down, all the while breathing deeply. "As I'm doing that, I'm saying to myself, 'This is a procedure that will save my life. I'm not going to fight it. I'm going to make it as easy on my body as possible,' " she said. Safer, has a rare but curable form of leukemia, started out as a skeptic, but found that hypnosis helped put her at ease before biopsies, MRIs and several surgeries. Fox News

Being under pressure doesn't cause just the occasional blip of acne or fleeting rash—it can do a number on your skin's ability to heal and fight off real trouble. The good news: There's proof that mind-body treatments like hypnosis and biofeedback can work in your favor. Oprah

Can you think yourself allergy free? Perhaps not entirely, but hypnosis may help relieve your symptoms when it's used in conjunction with other allergy treatments. In a 2005 Swiss study, allergy patients were trained to achieve a hypnotic trance and then imagine themselves in a "safe place" free of allergens (a pristine beach, for example, or a snowy mountain). Those who underwent hypnosis reported a reduction of about a third in congestion during allergy season; objective tests confirmed the self-reports. ABC News

A funny thing is happening to hypnosis, long a feature of vaudevillian routines: It's becoming respectable, working its way into premier research hospitals, medical journals, and doctors' offices throughout the US. An increasing number of physicians are using hypnosis to ease patients through childbirth, angioplasty, chemotherapy, breast biopsy—even full-on surgery. Prevention

The effectiveness of hypnosis was given the spotlight in mainstream media and popular culture. Earlier this month, on Mother’s Day, Kim Kardashian revealed that she was nervous and anxious about her impending motherhood. According to the latest media reports, Kim, who is expecting her first child with boyfriend rapper Kanye West, has sought the help of a hypnotherapist to manage her anxiety about giving birth. Hypnosis Works

The results exceeded the researchers' expectations: More than 70% of the patients rated themselves "very much better" or "moderately better" after hypnotherapy. Five years later, 81% of patients who'd initially benefited from the treatment reported that the improvements had lasted. Their anxiety and depression were reduced by at least half, as were their reliance on pain pills and the number of doctor visits they made.  Prevention

Your turn

Have you or anyone you know used hypnosis for medical reasons? Please share the details.

Shameless request: if you enjoyed reading this post please share with your friends and Social Media. Thank you
Are you ready for a change? Imagine what your life would be like if you made that one change. Hypnosis can help you to make powerful changes in your life.

Contact me for a free consultation
Adalia John Cht
818-741-8909
Skype:adaliaj1
adalia[at]claimyourconfidencenow[dot]com

Adalia John - Certified Hypnotherapist, mindset mastery mentor and confidence solutions coach. I help my clients to use the power of their mind to achieve their personal and `professional goals.

What is the Difference Between Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy?

What is the difference between hypnosis and hypnotherapy?

My daughter asked me this question and I decided to answer her question here.  

Hypnosis is a natural, suggestible, focused state of conscious awareness. 

 

You go in and out of hypnosis on a daily basis - when you daydream, when you allow your emotions to be affected by a movie, a piece of music, or even someone’s conversation. I use the word allow because I believe you’re always in control of your experience.

You’re in a hypnotic state when you become immersed in a book.  

I can relate to this from personal experience - when I was growing up, after school, I was responsible for preparing the meals for my family because my mom was at her place of business, I read while I was cooking (back then, reading was a PASSIONATE past time), I was captivated by what I was reading and was oblivious of what was going on around me.  I had to give up reading while I was cooking because on too many occasions I was brought back to my present surrounding by burning food.

How about you – what’s your experience with every day hypnosis?

Have you ever driven home (obeying all the rules of the road) and wondered how you got there?  Some people experience this on the freeway; it’s called “Highway Hypnosis.” This phenomenon has to do with individuals driving safely, and responding effectively to the conditions of the freeway, but miss their exit or arrive to their destination wondering how they got there.

The hypnotic zone

Athletes use hypnosis to accomplish great feats. They call it the zone. Have you ever been in the zone? Stellar, effortless, performances happen when you’re in the “zone.” It's the mom who has to stay focused as she juggles crying children, dinner, homework and balancing the check book. It's the athlete who makes it to the finish line in severe pain. It's passing the bar exam in spite of a throbbing head ache.

Another common every day hypnosis occurrence 

Have you ever had someone say to you “why are you looking at me, or how can I help you” (or something along those lines) because you were lost in thought while staring at him/her?  You were experiencing natural hypnosis.

What is hypnotherapy?

There’s controversy surrounding the term “hypnotherapy.” Some feel that hypnotherapy is not therapy, and others just don’t believe in hypnosis.

Hypnotherapists use hypnosis therapeutically to help their clients make powerful changes such as giving up smoking and other bad habits, overcoming shyness, low self-esteem and lack of confidence. They can help you to pass various exams, overcome the fear of public speaking, and excel at sports and a lot more.

The first stage – consultation

Hypnotherapist and possible clients have an in-depth conversation to determine their challenge and how they can best help them. 

The second stage – possible client is now a client

 The hypnotherapist and client agree on the number of sessions and other goal achieving tools. 

The third stage - sessions

During sessions hypnotherapists help clients achieve the state of hypnosis and give suggestions for desired results. In this state you’ll imagine, picture, feel, visualize, and/or even taste your desired outcome. With repetition what you desire becomes part of your everyday life. 

Hypnotherapy can be used to complement other forms of therapy. Do your homework when choosing a hypnotherapist. You can become your own hypnotherapist by using self-hypnosis. Get step by step instructions here.

I attended The Hypnosis Motivation Institute, a 45 year old, non-profit, nationally accredited college of hypnotherapy, in Tarzana, CA. I graduated as a certified hypnotherapist in 1991. However, hypnotherapy has never been my only career/business focus. 

Read more about me at http://www.hypnosistarzana.com and http://www.confidenceisaninsidejob.com

Other resources

Ask. Com has an in depth article about hypnotherapy

It’s a wrap

Do you have any lingering questions about hypnosis and hypnotherapy? 

Shameless request: if you enjoyed reading this post please share with your friends and Social Media. Thank you
Are you ready for a change? Imagine what your life would be like if you made that one change. Hypnosis can help you to make powerful changes in your life

Contact me for a free consultation
Adalia John Cht
818-741-8909
Skype:adaliaj1
adalia[at]claimyourconfidencenow[dot]com

Adalia John - Hypnotherapist, mindset mastery mentor and confidence solutions coach. I help my clients to use the power of their mind to achieve their personal and `professional goals.

image courtesy of  freedigitalphotos.net

The Relationship Between Relaxation and Hypnotherapy

There is an important relationship between hypnotherapy and 

  relaxation

Relaxation defined - state of being free from tension and anxiety.

Hypnotherapy - using hypnosis for therapeutic purposes.

Relaxation is a necessary component of hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapists use relaxation techniques to help their clients achieve the state of hypnosis. 

Hypnosis is a deeply relaxed, highly suggestible, focused state of mind.

Relaxation quiets the mind and the body and opens the door to the trance state of hypnosis. Hypnosis makes it possible to by-pass the critical mind and access the subconscious mind. When the client is in this trance state the hypnotherapist makes positive suggestions that can lead to powerful changes (that the client wants) on a subconscious level.

Breathing is the key to relaxation.

Relaxation is the key to hypnosis.

Hypnosis is the key to the mind.

The mind is the key to change.

Suggestion is the key to specific change.

Some of the relaxation techniques used by hypnotherapists are:

Progressive muscle relaxation - the hypnotherapist guides the client to systematically tighten and relax various muscles.

Guided imagery - the client is guided through storytelling and mental pictures to achieve the desired state.

Deep breathing exercises - the clients focus on their breath and their breathing.

Relaxation is at the core of these techniques. Most hypnotherapists, including me, use a combination of these techniques to help their clients enter the state of hypnosis.

The difference between relaxation and hypnosis

Mark Tyrell, of the Uncommon Knowledge,  had this to say about hypnosis and relaxation -  "In truth, hypnosis is not inevitably a relaxation state, although it can be. Hypnosis is really a state of highly focused attention." 

I believe that relaxation opens the door to hypnosis. However, relaxation in and of itself will not bring about psychological and physical changes, nor help you bypass the critical mind to make changes subconsciously. Hypnosis does! Your hypnotherapist will make suggestions to change

• Bad habits (stop smoking)
• Unwanted behaviors. (such as anger)
• Fears and phobias.
• Self-esteem and lack of confidence issues.

In general, hypnotherapy can help with vocational and a vocational issues. Some issues may require psychological and/or medical referrals. 

Summary 

Relaxation calms your mind and body. Hypnosis is a very relaxed, highly suggestible, focused state of mind. Hypnotherapy helps you to use your mind for positive change.

If you want to learn more about hypnosis/hypnotherapy - visit this link http://www.hypnosistarzana.com

Shameless request: if you enjoyed reading this post please share with your friends and Social Media. Thank you

Are you ready for a change? Imagine what your life would be like if you made that one change. Hypnosis can help you to make powerful changes in your life

Contact me for a free consultation
Adalia John Cht
818-741-8909
Skype:adaliaj1
adalia[at]claimyourconfidencenow[dot]com

Adalia John - Hypnotherapist, mindset mastery mentor and confidence solutions coach. I help my clients to use the power of their mind to achieve their personal and `professional goals.
Image courtesy of [image creator name] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

One of The Biggest Myths About Hypnosis

I have family members and friends who are afraid of hypnosis. They believe that hypnosis is a form of mind control.

Hypnosis being a form or mind control is one of the biggest myths out there.

If the the only form of hypnotism you’ve been exposed to is the stage hypnotist and the Hollywood type of hypnotism, I understand why you would believe this myth.

The old Hollywood hypnosis movies were based on the misconception that hypnosis was hocus-pocus. Many of the movies depicted unscrupulous men using hypnosis to take advantage of women. Positive portrayals of hypnosis in movies are few and far between. Recently, there has been a couple – Shallow Hal 2001 and Trance 2013.

The biggest influence that most people are exposed to is the stage hypnotist.

The stage hypnotist is a performer who uses hypnosis to entertain. He/she knows how to pick the perfect candidate – not everyone is a good candidate for the hypnotist’s antics, not even me, and I’m a hypnotherapist.

Stage hypnotists choose individuals that are uninhibited, and more suggestible to hypnosis than the average person. I learned from the late Dr. John Kappas, founder of The Hypnosis Motivation Institute that somnambulists are the best candidates for the stage hypnotist.

Somnambulist: someone who walks about in their sleep

Hypnosis is a relaxed, suggestible, focused state of mind but you’re always in control. Here’s an example will make understanding hypnosis easier -  think of the different emotions you experience watching movies. You feel fear; you laugh, cry, and have strong feelings of love or hate.

How or why did this happen?

These emotions are triggered because you entered the state of hypnosis - consciously you know the movie is not real but your subconscious mind (home of your emotions) responds to stimuli whether they are real, replicated or imagined. However, you remain in control of you. You can walk out of the movie, turn off the television, or make a decision to not allow the movie to affect you in anyway.

A hypnotherapist/hypnotist, in essence, replaces the movie; he/she is the facilitator that helps you to reach a relaxed, suggestible, focused state of mind called hypnosis. In this state a hypnotherapist helps you to achieve goals and a stage hypnotist uses it to have fun. In both situations you remain in control, you can walk away or allow yourself to have the experience.

So, relax  family and friends - throw this myth under the bus, hypnosis is not mind control.

If you want to learn more about hypnosis/hypnotherapy - visit this link http://www.hypnosistarzana.com

Shameless request: if you enjoyed reading this post please share with your friends and Social Media. Thank you
Are you ready for a change? Imagine what your life would be like if you made that one change. Hypnosis can help you to make powerful changes in your life

Contact me for a free consultation
Adalia John Cht
818-741-8909
Skype:adaliaj1
adalia[at]claimyourconfidencenow[dot]com

Adalia John - Hypnotherapist, mindset mastery mentor and confidence solutions coach. I help my clients to use the power of their mind to achieve their personal and `professional goals.
image courtesy of ddpvumba @ freedigitalphotos.net